The Funeral of Hearts
by Asch Nite
Summary: I've lived my life alone for so long, and this is my record. The record of life. I don't know whats the truth, and what my mind has made up. I have to go over it, so I can know. So I can die without a guilty Conscience. PLEASE R&R! -COMPLETE-
1. The Introduction

Introduction 

I sit here in my cell in Azkaban, thinking of all that has happened. Thinking of the very beginning, to the very end. How it all started, and how it ended. It ends here, for it's just a matter of time before the Dementors perform the 'kiss' on me. As I shuffle through the memories packed in my mind and memories I blame it all on a dead man. A dead man killed directly by Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, and my master. James Potter, the deserter, and his good for nothing Lily were dead. My dream had finally come true. Not that Sirius Black even did it, any Death Eater would know that. None better then Peter Pettigrew, the little rat that really betrayed the Potters. I remembered Sirius from my school days. He was always looking at my ass, the disgusting pig.

Finally, he would know the pain I felt. Even if James couldn't, Sirius would. He'd feel himself fall off the edge of Sanity, and would have to make an effort to remember his own name. To remember he even existed. Although I somehow retained my sanity, I still felt insanity try and take hold over my mind. What was left of it, at least. The only reason I remembered, that I hung on, was my thirst for revenge. Revenge on everyone who ever made me feel unwanted, anyone who ever was not kind to me. Even if that meant decimating the entire world I would do it! Anything to give to them what they gave to me. Pain and nothing but Pain, since as long as my shattered mind could remember.

I heard the doors open and ran up to the front of my cell and gripped the rusted bars. Out of some strange impulse I ran my fingers through my dirty hair, as if you could tell the difference. I had found a sharp piece of glass once, and used it to regularly cut my hair. I made sure I kept it in shape, so that the Minister would be baffled by how together I seemed. It always made Fudge so mad. I stared as the shadows brought forth a man, with black hair that hung in his face. They brought him towards my cell. Why mine? I thought. Then it hit me, I would be dying soon for they were giving him my cell. His face turned ghastly white when they threw him in the cell, especially once he saw me.

"Charli?" he asked, his breath caught in his through and I laughed. He looked scared, and it took all of me not to let this excite me. If I did, the shadows would take it from me. The whole reason I was as I was now, was that I learned to only dwell on my angry thoughts.

"Of course it's me, you moron." I said, my voice cold. "I was brought in with Avery." His face shows that he remembers now, what happened. I smile and I remember the trial. I had gone off to do 'stuff' with Avery, as we called him, and somehow the stupid mudblood had survived what we did, and an Auror tracked us down. An Auror none other then James Potter, to this day I can recall his face and his surprise when he tracked some sort of magical evidence to my very house.

"What happened to you, Leliam?" He said, shaking his head disgust. My eyes narrowed, and I did what I was famous for in school., throwing punches and breaking noses. It felt wonderful, let me tell you. I didn't realize until it was too late until everything turned black and I was blasted into the past and

the worst memory of my life.

_The Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold, was leading me into Azkaban. Every good memory I had of my childhood, and of James were disappearing as the Dementors crowded around me, eager to suck out every good thing I knew from me. I tried so hard to keep them from my memories, my James, but it was impossible. I saw black dots form at the edge of my vision. I blacked out. When I awoke, I was freezing and lying on the cold, hard, floor. I trembled, scared of what would happen to me._

This time, yet again, I woke up on a now familiar stone cement ground. I sat up, and reached for my shard of glass. Tonight, the pain would end for me. I took the shard and placed the sharpest end and placed it over the vein in my wrist. But before I tore my skin, I fleetingly put my mind and thoughts back to the past. To remember, one more time, why I was doing this.


	2. How It All Started

Disclaimer: Basically, anyone/anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books, are/is not mine but are the product of the amazing imagination of JK Rowling!

**Funeral Of Hearts**

...**How it all started...**

Lily Marigold Evans sat in her fathers car, on the way Hogwarts, ready to start her Third year at Hogwarts. Now Hogwarts wasn't just any old British Boarding School, it was a school of Magic. Real Magic, not that wave-a-plastic-wand-over-a-hat-and-get-a-rabbit-magic. She remembered fleetingly how that when she first got her letter, she had laughed. Lily was a muggle-born, or someone not born with Magical Parents. She was okay with that, but not some of the people at her school. Lily hated ignorant people! She wished they would go up in flame or something.  
  
"Lily, honey. We're Here."  
  
She was jolted out of her thoughts by her father, who had just announced that they had arrived. Not at Hogwarts of course. Just Kings Cross Station. She waved to her parents, and walked through the wall, onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Now, although walking through a wall sounded weird to most people, for Hogwarts Students it was their way to freedom. Well, not _freedom_ exactly. At once she spotted some of her friends. Belle Morganson, Kev Parks, along with the rest of the 'cool' crowd. That was totally where Lily belonged. She was everything every girl wanted to be. Popular, Smart, Pretty... She was every boys best fantasy too! Especially with her long slightly curled Auburn hair that hung just past her shoulders, and her vibrant green eyes that just seemed to dance with laughter. She had a light gather of freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, and she was pretty tall for a girl too, which guys liked. She had learned that they didn't really like bending over backward just to kiss a girl.   
  
"Lils!"   
  
She heard her name called and turned round to see her best friend, CeeCee, squeal. She ran over to her and they hugged, and Lily joined in on the squealing.  
  
"Come on, I bet Belle is dying to see us!"  
Lily commented, as they walked over to their other friends. This year was going to be sooo awesome!   
  
**Meanwhile...**  
James Potter, leaned against the wall, watching every moment. He thought Lily was the most beautiful creature on earth... His mind spiraled into thoughts of Lily when his best and only friend, Charli Leliam interrupted.  
  
"Hey James!"  
She shouted. He didn't look at her. She walked over and shouted into his ear a second time. James jolted. Why did Char have to scream all the time? Well, she is a girl after all, he thought. As if that actually gave her the right to do it in his ear! He looked over at his friend. Charli 'Charbroiled' Leliam. Her ever changing hair was actually it's natural brown for once, and up it it's usual messy-but-not-falling-apart bun, he could see her Chocolate Kiss brown eyes clearly for once. She must have gotten contacts this year. She had grown too, for she was as tall, and almost taller, then James himself. She was dressed in plaid stockings, motorcycle boots, her skirt was black with a few oversized belts on it, and her shirt was green with million of safety pins.   
  
"Love Your Outfit."  
He commented. The way she dressed, the way she thought, they way she spoke, was just so cool and different. But sadly nobody but James really appreciated her for it. They thought her lip ring was disgusting and ditto for the one on her eyebrow. But James thought she was cool, and thats all that he, and she, cared about.  
  
"Thanks," she giggled. "Yours too." James was dressed the way he always was, jeans, and a tee-shirt that had something or other on it. He laughed, and so did she. They didn't realize that everyone was looking at them, and when James saw Lily, laughing at him, he stopped. _God, she was so beautiful._

"Look at that Girl, Charlene is it?"

Belle said. "What is up with those safety pins she's wearing?" They all snickered. Except Lily, because she actually knew what was up with them! Charli, not Charlene, and she understood what was up with the brunette's clothes.

"She's obviously Punk, Belle." Lily sneered, surprising herself. But she was almost stung by Belle's comment. One of her neighbors was like that. There was nothing wrong with Punk. It's just another way of expressing who you are. Belle immediately shut up, and they turned back to gossiping about others things. For Example, how their summers had gone. Speaking of them, Lily's summer had been unbearable! Her sister, Petunia, could not stop bugging the s h I t out of Lily. Eurgh. At that moment she noticed the boy next to Charli. He sort of rang a bell, but not quite. Then it hit her. He was Riley's Twin! Riley Potter was one of the most unforgettable people you could imagine. She was sassy, smart, and knew how to throw an excellent punch, too. She laughed at the memory of when once; her boyfriend Greg had said something or other to Riley that insulted her. So, Riley being Riley said something back that wasn't exactly pretty, and slugged him good! It was hilarious.

The boy seemed to be staring at her... Eww! _What was his name, what was his name..._ James! That was it. Obviously he was not cool, or noticed by very much of anyone because she had to dig through her brain to find him. His name, anyway. Soon afterwards, everyone boarded the train. Lily sat with Belle, CeeCee, and Katrina. They talked, and talked, about just about everything. Before she knew it, she had dozed off...

"Well, Well, Well..." A voice said, causing James and Charli to look up. They both sighed. Lucius Malfoy and his little lap dog Severus Snape. "If it isn't geeky Potter and his _girlfriend_!"

James stood up; his face red with anger and fury. How dare that little git talk to him and his friend like that.

"She is not my Girlfriend!" was all he could shout, and he didn't know how that stung Charli. She winced inwardly. James only thought of her as a friend, and that was all she ever would be. That realization hurt her. She shook the thoughts from her head and touched James shoulder as he was about to give Malfoy the good one two.

"James," she said softly. "He isn't worth it."

James sighed and turned. Before he knew it though, Charli's fist made a connection with Malfoy's nose. A sickening crunch, and it was bleeding. His fist swung around to hit Charli's jaw but she ducked and gave him a good hard kick in the shins and his knees buckled to the ground. Severus was on Charli in a heartbeat, and James pulled him back and twisted his arms above his head, pushing him up against the wall. Little were they aware that everyone in their half of the train had gathered in front of their compartment door. Including the Head Boy and Girl.

"LELIAM! POTTER!" The Head Boy, Dennis shouted. Both James and Charli turned away from their 'victims' and looked to face him.

"What's up Dennis?" Charli asked, almost quietly. Everyone in the hall laughed. Dennis frowned and took a step forward. He was extremely disappointed in those two.

"Charli, I know you know what's 'up'! We haven't even gotten to the school, and yet you two have already gotten yourselves in trouble!" He scolded, and James looked at his feet, and Charli just stared at the wall. "Wait until the Headmaster hears of this! Maybe he'll finally expel you two!" Dennis said and stormed out.

Charli stared at Lucius, lying in a heap on the ground. She gave him a kick in the stomach, right near his kidneys.

"Get up, you lazy bum! And stay out!" She yelled, as he and Severus scuttled out of the compartment and down the hall. James laughed, and Charli looked over at him and smirked. She was so glad she had him for a friend.

**Fast Forward 2 Hours**

"Ms. Leliam, Mr. Potter, I have been informed by our Head Boy that you two got into a fight on the train this morning. Am I correct?" Professor McGonnagal asked James and Charli as they sat in her office. James muttered a barely audible 'Yes' and Charli nodded.

"But it wasn't our fault ma'am! They totally pro," she started but was cut off.

"Yes, Yes I know. Provoked you. You say it every time, Ms. Leliam." The Professor said tiredly. It was the same every year, they provoked us this, they provoked us that. 'But ma'am they called me a mudblood!' Bleh, Blah, Blah, Bleh! She sighed.

"Both of you, Detention for three weeks." She announced. Charli gasped. Three WHOLE weeks, just for punching slimy old Lucius Malfoy.

"B-But P-Professor.." James tried to reason. McGonnagal held up a hand to silence him. But it didn't work. "Three weeks just for getting in a freaking fight?" He screamed, only he didn't say freaking. She looked at him, stunned and offended by his language.

"Yeah! And I bet Snape and Malfoy didn't get anything! He called me a freaking M-M-Mudblood!" Charli stumbled with the word, grimacing in disgust.

She didn't say freaking either.

"THAT IS IT!" McGonnagal had lost her patience. "Two Months! For Both of You!"

They couldn't believe it. Two Months of Detention. How incredibly unfair. They sulked in the Common Room after the feast, well at least Charli was. James was too busy staring. Charli scowled, would he ever get over that girl? She was way out of his league.

Lily sat with her friends discussing the fight that had happened earlier on the train, between Malfoy and Snape, and Charli and James. It was so cool. She still could hear the sound of Malfoy's nose breaking. Hilarious!!! When she thought about it, Charli was a pretty awesome person. Too bad if Lily ever tried to hang out with her she would be completely kicked out the clique. She made her way up to her dorm that night, and much to her surprise, her roommates weren't the same this year. Instead of Belle being with her, Charli was. Talk about whoa!

"Hi." Lily said.

Charli sat on her bed in her new dorm, they had transferred her, writing some poetry and things when she heard someone say 'hey'. Assuming that whoever was talking was not speaking to her, she ignored the summons. Until, of course, she heard someone say it again. Charli rolled her eyes and looked up to see none other then Lily Evans, her best friends object of affection. Just great, just what she needed!

"What do you want?" Charli asked sharply. She almost felt bad when she saw the hurt in Lily's eyes.

"Just wanted to tell you that was once nice punch." Lily stated and walked over to her own bed. An awkward silence followed until the Blond Squad entered. So what if they weren't all blond? They sure as hell acted like it. They started gossiping majorly and Charli shut her book, quite loudly, and stomped out of the dorm. She went down into the common room, and sat in front of the fireplace. James was off doing something or other. Charli really needed to get some gal pals.

Lily and her friends looked up when they heard 'Leliam' slam her book shut and leave. Carla started giggling, and so did Lily who was followed by Kally. Soon enough they were all laying on the bed, laughing and gasping for breath. That night, they all lay in their beds, well except Charli, and for some reason Lily was worried. Apparently though, Charli wasn't very fond of her, which she didn't understand. Everyone liked her. She was popular, nice, and had excellent fashion and color sense. As she said, everyone loved her!

James loved Lily that was for sure. From the very moment he first laid eyes on the auburn haired beauty, he'd been head over heels, heels over head, what ever. He was in love. And love did note even **begin **to describe it. That first morning of classes, he walked into the common room and saw Charli asleep on the couch. He nudged her shoulders, waking her up.

"Go away Hayden..." she mumbled, and whacking his hand away. James burst of laughing. Hayden was her adopted mother, and apparently Charli's brain hadn't registered that she was at Hogwarts, not home.

"Chars!" He screamed into her ear, between a fit of laughter and she shot straight up and looked around, her eyelids half open and half closed in sleep. She looked down at her pajamas and let out a scream. James was way beyond help now. Frantically, Charli ran up the steps to the girls' dorm, changed, and ran back down. She gave her best friend a nice kick in the kidneys that shut him right up.

"You didn't have to kick me." He said as he stood up. She cracked a lopsided grin.

"I know. I just felt like it." She laughed, and they entered the Great Hall for breakfast. Classes, as all classes on the first day go, were abnormally slow. James thought he was going to die. Then, there was detention. Which was, despite it's purpose, pretty fun. All you had to do was sit, and you could think about just about anything. James and Charli walked in and saw a guy already sitting down who looked up when they went in.

"What are you in for?" Charli asked him.

"Messed up good old Snivelly." He said, and gave her a look that made her want to give him a good hard slap.

"I broke Malfoy's nose, James gave Snape a nice kick, and we cussed McGonnagal out." She said and took a seat in front of him.

Sirius liked that Charli chick. Not only was she hot, she had once helluva attitude. When she sat in front of him, he couldn't help but stare at her ass. It was a nice one. The other guy sat next to him.

James sat next to the guy who 'messed up Snivelly.'

"I'm Sirius." The guy introduced himself. "Sirius Black." James nodded, this guy was cool.. maybe he could get to know him and then Lilt would notice him.  
"So, how come I haven't seen you around before?" Sirius asked curiously. James wasn't sure he should tell him that he, James, wasn't exactly much more then a geek.  
"Uh, I'm not exactly in the 'cool' crowd." he admitted. Sirius nodded.  
"I can fix that."


	3. A Date and a Dance

Disclaimer: Basically, anyone/anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books, are/is not mine but are the product of the amazing imagination of JK Rowling!

From now on Posts will be completely in Charli's PoV! Occasionally it will be in either James's, Lily's, or Sirius's!

**Chapter Two**

Charli did her two months of detention, and she always ended up sitting by herself, everyday. James was always sitting with that Sirius kid, who still looked at her butt every time she sat down. It was driving her nuts! She was his best friend, not Black! Wasn't she? They'd been friends for years, why would he stop now? Charli shook these thoughts from her head as she walked into the library, and took a seat next to James. At least he remembered this time.

"Hey James."

"Hey Chars."

She opened her 'Standard Book of Spells 4', because she had already read her one for this year. Lately reading was all she had been doing, since James was too busy to give her a passing glance.

"Guess What?" James asked, a smile breaking out on his face.

"Huh." She replied, hoping it would be good news. No matter what it was though, she had to act happy for him.

"Lily actually noticed me, today Char! She and I had an actual conversation!" He was so excited, but she couldn't help but feel angry. He had ignored her for two months for some girl he didn't have a chance with? Instead of showing how she really felt, she leaned back in her seat and gave him a quick smile. Hopefully he would buy it, and he did.

"That's, uh, great." she say, for the added effect. His smile was so contagious, that she couldn't help but smile too. It quickly turned to a frown when she heard Sirius's voice.

"Hey Babe, James." He said, and she rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Firstly, I would like to point out that I have a name, and 'babe' is not it." She said, disgusted. "Second of all, I would deeply appreciate it if you would kindly fuck off." She said, quickly giving him the finger and walking off. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. It wasn't her fault, though. Maybe if _someone_ would pay her the tiniest amount of attention, she wouldn't be so damned moody!

Since Charli had nothing else to do, she immersed herself in her studies. Muggle Studies, Divination, Ancient Runes, CoMC, Trans, Potions, Astronomy... It annoyed her greatly to be ignored. Before she knew it, Halloween and the Halloween Dance was just around the corner. And it was a costume dance. For once, she was excited. Even if she didn't have a date so far, the prospect of it was still awesome. Dumbledore had allowed an emergency Hogsmeade Trip so that everyone could get what he or she needed for costumes. Charli knew what she wanted to be; she was going to be the gorgon, Medusa. She remembered reading about her. Medusa was a monster that had once been a very beautiful maiden whose hair had been her glory, and she dared rival her beauty with that of the goddess Athena. In response to her bragging, Athena turned the maiden's hair into snakes. She was still beautiful in her own right, but any person who laid eyes on her would turn to stone.

She was on her way out of the Costume Store when Blade Avery knocked her over. Most of the time, people like Blade would not even think of giving people like her a passing glance, and to this day she did not know why he did.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and she stood up, and felt pain shoot up her leg and she winced. She glanced up at him, her eyes narrowed.

"I would be if _someone_ hadn't rammed into me!" She said in an angry voice. "Sorry. I just haven't been in the best of moods lately." She sighed, and he nodded as if to say it was okay and pulled her to him in a way so that all her weight was on him.

"Charli Leliam, right?" he asked. "Potter's friend." Her face scrunched and shook her head.

"Ex friend." She said hatefully. "He's too busy with Black and trying to get the attention of a girl who will never give him a second thought."

"So your not his friend?"

"No."

"Do you have a date to the dance?"

"No."  
"Will you go with me?"

"No-I mean Yes!" he had caught her off guard there for a second. He smiled and pulled her against him, and brought his face down, just inches from hers. It was driving her crazy and her breath quickened in anticipation. Finally his lips met hers, and how a touch so light, so barely there, could feel so wonderful to her she would never know.

"Catch you later Leliam." He said, and walked off leaving her standing there, her hand at her mouth.

As the dance drew closer, Charli's patience was wearing thinner and thinner. One day in Divination class, James sat next to her.

"Is it true?" he asked, and she wasn't sure what he was talking about at first.

"Is what true?"

"That you going out with Avery." She looked at him in surprise. Why in the world would anyone think her and Blade were going out? It was just a dance.

"No." she could see the relief in his eyes, and decided to ruin it. "Just the dance." His eyes widened and he grabbed her upper arm.

"What are you thinking, going with a Slytherin?" she whacked his arm off as he said this and ignored him, turning her head to the blackboard and Professor Kalbus. James confronted her again on the way out of class. Why was he doing this? It's not as if he cared she existed anymore! She tried to keep ignoring him, but her efforts were useless. Soon enough she had Sirius on her tail too. Wouldn't they just all leave her the hell alone? That's all she wanted right now.

A day later, Charli was wandering around in the halls, on her way back to the common room, when James and Sirius stopped her in her tracks.

"Don't you ever go away!" she screamed in distress. James took a step forward, and she tried to take a step back but Sirius stopped her. "Let go of me!"

"We're just trying to reason with you, Charli." He said, and this scared her because he called her Charli. She had always been Chars. The last time he had called her Charli, he had been angry because she punched him.

"I don't need reasoned with!" she said frantically. "You're the one that does. You're the one that doesn't care I exist anymore! You're the one who doesn't give a damn anymore!"

James looked at her, awestruck. He had no idea that she felt that way.

"So your dishing it back at me by.... going out with Avery?" he asked, not sure what was actually going on. He did not understand girls at all. Charli let out a screech of impatience.

"No! And for the kazillionth time, we are not going out! IT IS JUST A DANCE!" she said, and after she got this out, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. "I'm going to the dance with him because I like him. And I'm going to dish this back at you in a much worse way. Because right when you give up and think I won't do it, I will. When you least expect it, I will strike. Revenge is sweet James, and I will get mine."

Charli kicked Sirius, making him let of her, and she stormed off.

"Man, you sure pissed that chick off." Sirius commented, and James nodded. _He sure had_.

No doubt about that one. Charli was royally P.O'd. She was like this for quite a while, up until the night of the ball. She was so excited, except she wasn't sure what to do with her hair. Put a charm on it or what? Much to her dismay, she decided to ask Lily. She could not believe she was sinking as low as that.

"As much as I hate to admit this, I need advice." She announced, and they all looked at her as if she had grown an extra head. "I'm going as Medusa and I don't know what to do with my hair." They all nodded, as if they understood; which they probably did.

"You should put a charm on it that makes it green!" Kally suggested, and they all nodded. "And make it look like snakes!" Lily whipped out her wand and gave it a swish, muttering something under her breath and immediately, Charli's long brown hair was the color of snakes.

"Wicked Sweet." She said and headed down the stairs and decided to go down to the Great Hall with the Blond Squad. She's meet Blade down there since obviously he wasn't in Gryffindor.

"Your hair is full of snakes, Leliam!" Blade exclaimed when he saw her, and she giggled. He wasn't any different.

"I'm Medusa, you moron!" she said between laughs. "Your supposed to turn to stone now." She giggled again and gave him a look that said who-are-you-supposed-to-be.

"I'm Oliver, my twin brother." He explained while grinning as he led her onto the dance floor. Charli was having an absolutely great time at the dance. She spent most of her time dancing, and looking at James. He couldn't get Lily to go with him, so instead he got some Ravenclaw named Ashlee. Every once in a while, she'd catch him giving her a glare. For once in her life, Charli didn't give a shit that James was mad at her, and she was happy that way. She didn't have to worry that every second she was going to do something that would upset it. All those years she was like, an android. But now, she'd work on just being her, and hopefully James could accept that. Near the end of the dance, Dumbledore had an announcement. Houses would separate the winners, so there would be four places, one from each house.

"I am proud to announce that the first place winner is from Gryffindor, and is the girl with the snakes for hair!" He said, and Charli giggled, and walked up to the stage. "Second place goes to Slytherin with the impersonating twins, Third place is for the Merepeople of Hufflepuff, and fourth place is awarded to Cleopatra, from Ravenclaw." Everyone up on the stage took a bow, and went back to dance to the last dance. When it was over, Blade pulled her out into the hallway.

"I had an amazing time tonight, Leliam." He said, and leaned in, and his lips met hers, and he moved his tongue into her mouth. They went on like this for several minutes, until people started to file out. He gave her a fleeting grin before walking away. Charli felt as if she was moving through syrup while making her way up to the common room, and into her dorm. That night, Charli Leliam fell asleep knowing that from this day on, her life was different. It had changed, whether for good or bad, she did not know. But she didn't care, either. For once, she was in control of her life and wanted to keep it that way.


	4. The Transformation

Disclaimer: Basically, anyone/anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books, are/is not mine but are the product of the amazing imagination of JK Rowling!

Hello everyone.. I'm back again with CHAPTER THREE! Muwahahahahahaa!

**Katerina65425: You got it, sister. The life recollection of a death eater in Azkaban.**

**Thirstyone101: Thanks!**

_Chapter Three: The Transformation_

**In The Cell**

I pause in my reminiscing for a moment, and look over at Sirius. He has no idea, of what happened. I suppose he thinks I turned on them for the fun of it. But I am the only one who knows, that is not true. I remember, when I was first brought here, James came to visit me, just once though. I don't quite recall much about the conversation, but I do recall this.

"_Why, Chars! WHY?" he asked, desperate._

"_Don't call me that!" I screamed, I could not take this. James was here, I was here, and I couldn't help but want to knock him upside the head, but at the same time tell him I was sorry, that I missed him. But I couldn't say that! I'd made my decision a long time ago, and I was going to stick with it. Damn that stupid Leliam pride. Damnations!_

"_Okay, but why would you do something like that?"_

"_Because. I. Can." I replied, and had my nose practically in the air._

"_What happened to you?" he asked, his eyes all clouded with confusion._

"_I'll tell you what happened to me. Life happened. Reality Happened." I retorted coolly, and I meant every word I said. "Now, I'm going to ask you nicely. Please leave, before you cause me even more pain." He scowled at this, and walked out._

I sighed, and closed my eyes, putting my mind back to where I was. Sadly, I do not remember much of the actual 'transformation' I made. It must have been sometime between Third and Sixth year, but I do know I went through a great deal of change. I went from a punked out optimist, to a dark gothic ice queen.

**Seventh Year**

Charli stood on the Platform, ready to board the train. She looked down at herself, and did not cringe at what she saw. She wore a Tripp rivet shirt along with turquoise chain link pants (Also made by Tripp). Her arms were decked out in bondage and spike bracelets, and she wore an o-ring collar. As for her makeup, she had put on Virgin Pressed Powder to make her face pale, her eyeliner was on extra-heavy, and her lips were stark black, as was her hair. She sighed, and made her way onto the train, and looked around for an empty place to sit. But instead, she found Malfoy and Snape is a rut, in a compartment with the Marauders. That was what James called his gang now. This 'gang' consisted of a) James Potter himself, 2) Sirius Black, 3) Remus Lupin, and finally, 4) Peter Pettigrew. Obviously, the only taste he had was in his mouth. She sauntered over to the compartment and leaned on the doorframe, an amused look on her face.

"Malfoy, Snape, need a hand?" she asked, and even if she was practically considered a Slytherin, she still liked calling them by their last names, for some odd reason. Snape and Malfoy were both cornered, and little Pettigrew was just sitting there, eating. Eating, or all things, at a time like this. Was he off his trolley? Her gaze went back to Malfoy and saw him nod.

"So you have to get Charli here to fight your battles?" Sirius asked mockingly.

"Oh Shut Up, Black." She said rolling her eyes and she whipped out her wand. "Because you hear that? It's the sound of no one caring what you think, say, or do." She pointed her wand at the group, and whispered something under her breath. Green sticky goo shot out the end and basically stuck them to the wall. Charli, being satisfied with her work, turned on her heel and left, not bothering to even give Malfoy and Snape a second glance. She picked a compartment at the very end of the train, and slid the door closed. Charli still got into fights frequently, and she hung out with a girl called Riley. Riley Potter, who just happened to be James's twin sister. But, Riley wasn't anything like James in fact she was his polar opposite. Riley had taken Charli under her wing, but that didn't mean she was like her shadow. When she was with Riley, she was an equal. She didn't have to worry if she was or wasn't living her life the way someone else wanted her to live it. Charli layed down on the seat and stretched out, but sadly she didn't fit anymore so she had to bunch up her knees a bit. Well, more then a bit. Great gods was she tired, she though as she closed her eyes.

She wasn't sure how long she slept, but she woke up to hear someone screaming at her to wake up. She opened her eyes and blinked sleepily at Riley.

"Riles, I need sleep. Go away." She said, and was ready to fall back asleep.

"We're almost there. You might want to change." Riley commented. Charli groaned and got up, and walked into the Girls Lavatory to change. By the time she was done, it was time to get off the train. She and Riley walked over to the carriages, and Charli cringed as she looked at the Thestrals. Those things gave her a serious case of the heebie jeebies. The only two carriages that had room in it was with Jake Flint and another with Malfoy. Riley went to sit next to Malfoy, leaving Charli with Flint. _Positively_ _wonderful_, she thought as Flint scooted closer to her.

"Flint, you're invading my personal space." She said, her voice tense. She had this thing about people getting to close to her, or touching her at all.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, grinning. She wasn't sure what he meant by that, until he grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards him, and basically mashed his face into hers. He wasn't that bad of a kisser, but still. She wasn't exactly all that fond of Flint, but that didn't stop her from kissing him back. Sometimes, Charli desperately needed to fell...well...wanted. And the way she did this was by doing exactly what she was doing now, making out with any guy who would. She let out a moan against his lips as his hands slid up into her shirt. The carriage lurched to a stop, and Flint reluctantly broke apart from her. She walked out of it, and straightened her clothes, and went with everyone inside.

Charli hated watching the Sorting Ceremony. To her it was deathly boring with a capital B. But watching this years sorting brought back memories of her own sorting, seven long years ago.

_[Flashback]_

"_James... What if I end up in Slytherin?" Charli asked her friend James._

"_Don't Worry," he soothed. "You won't."_

_But she wasn't so sure. He father had been in Slytherin, and her mother in Ravenclaw. Not that there was technically anything wrong with the Slytherin House, but she knew that James would end up in Gryffindor, and everyone knew that Gryffindor and Slytherin were rivals, and enemies._

"_Leliam, Charlene?" she heard a voice say, and sighed. Why was everyone sure her full name was Charlene? It wasn't, it was Charli. Just Charli._

"_It's Charli." She informed the professor, and sat on the stool. A patchy old hat was put on her head, and she immediately heard a voice inside her head._

_-Where to put you... Where to put you..- It said. –You have a great mind, witty and cunning, yet you are brave. And I sense loyalty here also..- It paused for a moment._

"_GRYFFINDOR!" It shouted, and she walked over to the Gryffindor table, almost grumpily. Her dad would have a cow, and her mum would be mad too. She had wanted so bad to be in Ravenclaw. But things cheered up when James got sorted there too. Charli noticed her sister, Dylan seated at the Ravenclaw table, and her brother, Lionel also at the Ravenclaw table. _

_[End Flashback]_

Now, more then ever did Charli wish she has been sorted into Ravenclaw. Then she wouldn't have the problem of having to try and avoid being anywhere near her roommates and the Marauders at every corner. She had classes with them, she had a dorm with some of them, it was murder. Even if she was 'over' James, she really wasn't. She would always resent him, and didn't always feel like she could deal with him. The Marauders liked to play jokes on her, and Sirius still looked at her butt. Didn't he get it? She would never go out with him. Though, she might snog him... maybe. But never go on a date or anything. Charli didn't date guys. Lily called her a slut, but Charli saw it differently. She was keeping her heart from being broken. No harm in that, was there, of course not. Dumbledore tore her out of her thoughts by starting to drone on about the forbidden forest is off limits and blah, blah, blah! Dumbledore ended his speech, and she practically dove into her food. Her father was not the nicest man in the world, and sometimes when she didn't behave he would lock her in her room, which meant no food, no drink, no fresh air... Charli sighed, and pushed away her plate when it was time to leave and go up to the Common Room.

Nights later, Charli sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, staring into the blazing fire, thinking of what she wanted to do when she was out of Hogwarts. Suddenly someone was behind her, with his or her hands over her eyes.

"Guess Who?" a voice asked, a voice that she recognized and she groaned.

"Black, get your hands off me." She said, and instantly his hands were gone, but he was now sitting beside her. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"Because it's just so entertaining to watch you get all frustrated." He said, laughingly but this only made Charli madder. He thought he and the right to bug her, because he found it entertaining? Of course, she went around making out with guys because she found it entertaining, but that was different.

"Oh, and that makes it perfectly alright." She said sarcastically. Sirius replied with an equally sarcastic 'of course.' She laughed, and covered her hand with her mouth to stifle it. Wait, what was she doing? She wasn't supposed to get along with Sirius Black.

"Guess what rumors are saying lately?" he said, and she just rolled her eyes. "They're saying you give 'services'." He stated, and she looked at him like he had just announced he was a pink-headed balloon fish.

"Well I don't, so don't be getting any ideas." She said, her voice shaky.

"But you're always making out with some random guy." Sirius started, but Charli cut him off.

"That happens to be because... just because. But I don't do the kinds of things your thinking about!" she practically screamed. She didn't so things like that! Girls like that were real sluts, and she wasn't one. She wouldn't stand for this, and she didn't have to.

"Well, do you do things like... this?" he asked as he leaned in, and started to kiss her. Charli was so shocked, that for a moment she didn't know how to respond. Much to her dismay, she couldn't help but kiss him back... he was such a good kisser, and it wasn't every day that heart throbs like Sirius Black grabbed her and started to snog her as if there was no tomorrow. It was good and all, but what would people say if they found her like this? Lip locked with Black, oh would Cissa have a parade, or what? She tried to get away, she really actually did, but Sirius had put himself on top of her. After a while, she had finally been able to turn her head away from his.

"Get. Off. Me... Now!" she whispered, her lungs feeling crushed by his weight.

"Don't tell me your not like every other girl is this school who wants me." He said, and his voice sounded quite funny.

"Alright I won't tell you that I absolutely despise you." She said, and pushed him off her in his moment of confusion, of why she had rejected him.

"I would like to remind you that in the future I would appreciate it if you would keep your hands.. and lips off me." She said, and stomped off to the Girls Dormitory.

[END CHAPTER]

Dear Readers,

Zat is ze end of Chapter THREE! Hope ya'll liked it. By the way, I'm planning on making a sequel after this one, about Charli's daughter... But I can't decide on a name. I'm stuck between Jeanette and Valkaryie. I'd like to hear your opinions on which name you like best, so send me and e-mail, and let me know what you think.

Thanks All,

**Asch**


	5. The Flickering Facade

Disclaimer: Basically, anyone/anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books, are/is not mine but are the product of the amazing imagination of JK Rowling!

Chapter Four, Coming Your Way! FYI, this chapter takes place from December to June.

Oh Yeah! Snickers for Christy, who came up with the title!

_Chapter Four: Flickering Façade_

Time seemed to absolutely fly by and before Charli, or anyone else knew it, it was Christmas. Or should we say, time-to-get-all-the-stuff-up-for-Yule up. For Charli, this was not fun. She hated Christmas. Every Christmas, she never got anything, anything from anyone. Because frankly, no one gave a damn that she existed. On Christmas morning, she wasn't expecting to find anything by her bed, but much to her surprise there was -- a small box. Gingerly she picked it up and her eyes skimmed the note.

_Charli,_

_You know there's something there. _

_-SB_

Her brow furrowed when she read this, but she opened the small green box anyhow. Inside was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen in her life; the chain was silver, either that or white gold, with a silver/white gold scorpion charm that had small yellow topaz's for eyes. She walked into the bathroom and put it on, staring at her reflection. She was getting ready to head down the steps, when she realized that she couldn't let him know that she was wearing it, and quickly hid it beneath her shirt. When she went down the steps, she saw Sirius sitting there on a couch and froze like an ice cube. He looked up when he heard her, and his gaze flickered immediately towards where her necklace should have been, and his frown was so obvious when he didn't see it there.

"Hey." He said softly, while getting up and walking over to her. She managed a squeaky 'hi' in response, her voice leaving her with him being so close. "I knew I forgot something." He said, and turned, walking up the steps to the boy's dorm. On some strange impulse, Charli followed him, and ended up in his dormitory, to see Sirius rummaging around in his trunk.

"W-What are you looking for?" she asked, her voice starting to fail her again.

"Looking for the necklace."

"You mean..." she said, and pulled out the necklace from beneath her shirt. "This one?" he looked up and his eyes widened a bit when he saw her holding it up.

"You're actually wearing it?" he asked, a bit surprised, and she nodded.

"Chars..." he started to say, but trailed off, stepping towards her, and she took a step back away from him into the wall.

"Sirius, please... don't..." She was trying to tell him, put he silenced her by encasing her lips with his, and she couldn't help by sigh in contentment, or kissing him back for that matter. She knew she shouldn't be doing it, but she just couldn't contain herself. She knew for a fact that Sirius wasn't just kissing her because no girl would take him, because truth is Sirius has hoards of girls waiting on his hand and foot. Sirius had her pinned against the wall, and was kissing her fiercely and was tugging at her shirt, trying to get it off. In the end, he succeeded and both he and Charli gave into lust... or love.

Charli woke up to feel someone pressed against her, and memories came flooding back. She shot straight up in Sirius's bed, waking him up.

"What wrong babe?" he asked, blinking sleepily at her frantic and rigid form.

"What wrong? What's wrong?" she hissed, as she got out of the bed and started to put her clothes back on. "I just did the _stupidest_ thing that I could have ever possibly done!"

"Huh?" he asked, still half asleep.

"You... and... me... earlier.." she said, trying to get him to understand.

"How was that the worst thing you could ever have done?" he asked, not understanding how being with him was like, a mortal sin.

"I have to go... and I need you to stay away from me." She said this, and was rather pained. But girls like her couldn't be with guys like him, because he didn't support the Dark Lord, whereas she was training to become a Death Eater and would initiated in April. It just wouldn't work out, no matter how much she happened to love him. _Wait, Love... since when do I love him?_ She thought, her mind going into frantic mode. _I lust after him, not love him. Never love, that's a emotion I cannot feel._

Charli avoided any situation with Sirius Black from then on. She wasn't paying attention to anything but her studies at that point, and three months later she was surprised when she started to throw up constantly, and couldn't eat any of her favorite foods without feeling as if she was about to barf again. Lily, of all people, finally made her go and see Madame Pomphrey in the Hospital Wing.

"Dear, when was the last time you got your period?" the nurse asked, and Charli looked at her, shocked.

"I don't know... three months ago?" she thought back.

"Well then, I'm going to tell you something, and you better sit back down." The nurse stated, and she took a seat. "Ms. Leliam, you are three months pregnant."

Charli stared at her in complete and utter shock, Pregnant? Just positively absolutely wonderful.

"How am I supposed to hide that?" she asked, exasperated, and Madame Pomphrey gave her a concealment charm, that she would have to start using soon, and gave her some things to help her 'morning sickness'. One thing Charli had learned was that morning sickness was poorly named. It does not indeed happen just in the morning, but all day long. Once a month she had to go to the Hospital Wing to get a 'checkup' and make sure everything was fine. And then there was DE training, once a week at Midnight, in a field near Hogsmeade. That was a killer for her, really. You try running around and curing and hexing people while dodging they're curses and hexes when you are pregnant. Soon enough, it was initiation time. Charli, along with Jake Flint, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Kalasin Keely, Ashton Bulstrode, Larainia Colgeste, and Amanda Spellings we're all being initiated that night. It was done alphabetically so naturally she was second-to-last. She gasped in pain when the dark mark was burned upon her skin, it didn't hurt as much as she thought it would though. Then, in front of everyone he just _had_ to announce it.

"So, Leliam. Who's the father?" the Dark Lord asked her, and she stared at him.

"I-I-I d-don't want t-to s-s-say, Milord." She stammered, and he had a bemused expression on his face, you could tell, despite his hood.

"Oh Really?"

"Yes, really." She said, and quickly added a 'milord.' He laughed, and she stared at her feet. After the ceremony was over, and she was in the Common Room, Sirius came down. She pretended not to see him, but he saw right through her façade.

"Where were you?" he asked and she stared at him, and she subconsciously rubbed her right arm, where her dark mark was. He frowned and sat next to her, and his frown grew deeper when he felt her tense.

"What's wrong with your arm?" she asked as he started to roll up her sleeve and she heard him gasp.

"Nothing wrong with it, you dolt." She said, rolling her sleeve back down.

"You're a death eater!" he practically screeched at the top of his lungs, and she quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shut up, you moron!" she hissed. "Tell the world why don't you?"

Sirius started to say something, but Charli cut him off.

"I'm going to bed." She announced and walked up the steps to the Girls Dormitory.

**CHARLI'S M Personal P O V**

Great Goddess, what have I gotten myself into? I sit here, in my bed at Hogwarts, staring at my dark mark. I put my hand on my stomach, and feel my child kick. I know it is a girl, by some strange sense. I shall name her Valkaryie. I will not give her the last name Black, but she will have mine instead. Valkaryie Elizabeth Leliam, will be her full name. Her middle name shall be that of my mother. A thought strikes me out of the blue, I cannot hang out with Riles anymore. She, like her brother and father, will fight against my master. Looks like my new best friends are Kally, Manda, and Rina. It's not like my life isn't already in the dumps anyway. Sometimes, secretly, I think of slitting my wrists, hanging myself, or blasting my brains out, anything to stop the pain. But I can't bring myself to do it, for the sake of my little girl who is still unborn. She is due in August, which is four months from now. I am dying to see what she looks like. Will she look like me, or will she look like Sirius? Will she become cold, and numb like me? Or will she be warm, laughing, and full of energy and life... like Sirius? I sigh, and close my eyes. The only place that I am happy, and the only place where I feel safe are in my dreams. I control them, they do not control me. I can dream of Sirius, I can dream of my daughter, or better yet, I dream of my own Mother and Father, the Mother and Father who are dead do not normally invade my dreams, but tonight I want them to. Tonight is the night I tell them who and what I have become. Ghosts of my past cannot hurt me, no matter how much I screw up and disappoint them. They are the dead, and they have no effect on me.

**Back to Normal**

It was the end of May, and Voldemort was planning an attack on Hogwarts. Charli couldn't wait, although she wasn't one hundred percent sure why. She was pretty sure it was because she got a chance to be important. Yet, she was not allowed to partake in the battle, so she would not damage her child. The Dark Lord wanted to use her daughter for his own purposes when she was to come of age. Secretly, she didn't want her child to end up like her; she wanted her child to have a good life. One not full of so much hate, and other things that a kid shouldn't have to worry about.

She sighed, and took a seat next to Rina on the ground. They were in front of the invisible gates that guard Hogwarts from intruders, ready to open them. And in five minutes, that moment came. Charli, Rina, Manda, and Kally somehow managed to get the gates open, and then Charli ran into the school. Her master told her to stay up in her dormitory, until it was all over. He would not risk the life of her child. Not because he actually cared about the child, of course. She sat there, frozen in her bed. What had she done? Thank Mithros she was graduating next month, or she'd go insane with guilt. Truly, she would. Suddenly, she heard a whole lotta noise from down in the common room, and she went to see what it was. Much to her dismay, it was Sirius, James, Remus, and a death eater. How the death eater had gotten into the common room, she had no clue.

"Charli... Go!" James shouted, and she saw Sirius frown. Charli laughed, one of those evil ones, and stood behind the Death Eater.

"Looks like she was hanging with the Slytherins a little too much." Remus replied, almost sarcastically.

"Get out of the common room." she ordered the Death Eater, who she knew somehow was Flint. He gave her a small nod in response, and he turned and left. Charli sighed, and plopped herself onto the couch while watching J, S, and R give her death looks. Well, all except Sirius. The looks he were giving her were more like, god-I-love-you-so-much-yet-I'm-so-disappointed-in-you kind of thing. For all she knew, Sirius could love her; but she would never know, not that it would make a difference anyway. Because anything between them would never work, she told herself. She had to tell herself this everyday, because every time she looked at him, every time she heard his voice. It was then she realized that she did love him, that her brain couldn't hide it any longer. But she also realized that Love could mean nothing to her, the only love that could prevail was her love for revenge, and the dark arts. Love like that which she felt for Sirius, was like a Funeral of her Heart because she could never act upon it... even if she really already had. But that time it was a complete accident. She was pulled out of her personal rantings by a voice, _that_ voice.

"It's vile what you did, really it's horrible." He said, and she blinked at him stupidly, and stared.

"What?" she asked, her voice dazed. "Didn't quite catch that." He rolled his eyes a stalked off, pretending he didn't care.

But he did. He cared about her more then anything in the world, no matter how much pretending he did. Nothing would change that, even If she was a Death Eater, on the side of Lord Voldemort.

"Moldywart really is what he should be called." James stated, and they all broke out laughing, where once again Sirius has to pretend.

****

_Loves the Funeral of Hearts_

_And on Ode For Cruelty_

_Where angels cry b.l.o.od_

_On flowers of eViL in bLoOm_

_The Funeral of Hearts_

_And a plea for Mercy_

_When love is a gun_

_Separating_

_Me from_

_You_

There you are everyone! And I'm awful sorry if that last part sucks... it just doesn't seem as good as the rest to me. As for the name of Charli's daughter, I've decided it'll be Valkaryie. Because in Norse Legend the Valkryie's were gathers of warrior souls, who were said to serve the great god Odin. But they originated at demon spirits who gathered human warrior spirits, and brought them to Valhalla. (Which they 'do' for Odin in the later versions also) but they tortured the souls of those not worthy to die in battle.

-ASCH


	6. Mortem Vitae Sequens

Disclaimer: Basically, anyone/anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books, are/is not mine but are the product of the amazing imagination of JK Rowling!

Sorry it's taken me so long to update people! My schedule is packed full now that school has started, and on top of Volleyball practice, practicing my flute, and all that kind of crap I'm damned busy! This is the last chapter, and then I should have the epilogue up by tomorrow, since it's a holiday I'll be home.

**Xcoldhearted: I'm utterly flattered that you think I write well. Here's your update.**

_Chapter Five: Mortem Vitae Sequens_

"All must submit to the king of terrors." –Popular Gravestone Saying

Graduation, what a hectic time of year for everyone and all of the seventh years were absolutely dying in the wait. But finally, the day had come. The day where they were going to officially be out in their own world. Charli's father had left her the family house, so she was set. All except for a job, and she was planning to either an Unspeakable, or be right under the minister himself. This was so she could divert death eater attention away from herself.

Classes had been cancelled for all Seventh Years, that day, so they were free to do whatever they pleased so that they're last memories of Hogwarts would be the best. Charli's however, would not be exactly that. Around noon, she was wandering the halls and ran right into the Marauders and they were blocking her path.

"P-Please just move." She said almost weakly but they didn't move.

"You aren't going anywhere, bitch." Sirius snarled, and Charli recoiled and felt as if he had slapped her.

"Just let me through, please." Charli said weakly, and didn't feel like fighting today. Somehow she got them to leave when she gripped Sirius's arm. "I need to talk to you."

He turned, and looked at her and expectantly.

"What?" he asked, while staring at her.

"I'm, uh... well the truth is..." she just couldn't say it, she didn't know where to start. "Sirius, I'm pregnant, and have been, and I'd just thought that you would like to that that as of sometime in August you'll be the father to a little girl." Sirius just blinked, and looked at her unsure of what to say in return. She waited, hoping he would say something, and when he didn't she turned on her heel and walked off.

Graduation came and went, and Charli was able to apparate her family's empty home that had been left to her. She sighed and walked up to her room looking longingly at the pictures of her and her parents. She missed them so much when she died, and that wanting had never stopped, even to that very day. Charli felt the tears start to fall, the tears that signified everything about her life that she hated, that made it the horror that it was. No parents, she could never be with Sirius, she was all alone, she had no true friends, she served Lord Voldemort for Christ sake. She shook her head, trying to shake out the thoughts. She was wanting for things that she could never have. Dreaming of a wish that would never come true was a waste of her time.

She wandered down into the kitchen that evening, and an owl swooped in from the window and just about hit her in the head. She untied the letter from the owl's leg, and read it.

_To my favorite sister..._

_Drake and I are finally going to do it; we're finally getting married! And Charli, I'd love for you to be the Maid of Honor. Drake wanted me to make it **his** sister, but I'd choose you over that slut any day. So, what do you say? Please say yes, you know how much I hate Alyisen. Please? Anywho, let me know. Even if you aren't the MOH, you're invited. It's Saturday, August 14th...Of this year of course._

_Your sister,_

_Dylan_

She stared at the letters on the parchment, and gasped. Dylan and Drake had been dating since their seventh year, and apparently Drake finally had the courage to pop the big question. She was so happy for them, and at that moment something strange possessed her to tell Dyls that she would do it. Immediately she turned the parchment over and scribbled her reply, sending it back with what she assumed was Drake's owl.

"Aurgh!" she screamed after she realized what she had just agreed to, banging her head against her refrigerator. "What have I done?"

She had just basically agreed to her own doom. Knowing Dylan, she'd end up picking out a hideously pink dress with a fat bow on the ass that was a separate color that didn't even match the pink of the dress, or something of the sort or whatnot. Charli groaned and walked upstairs to her room, and fell asleep dreaming of that ugly dress.

Soon enough, it was time for the wedding. Thankfully, Dylan chose a nice, form fitting black dress. The down side was that even with the charm, Charli's pregnancy was getting harder and harder to conceal. She had to perform the illusion twice for it to actually appear as if she had her regular figure back. She convinced herself that she was no longer the Maid of Honor, but Maid of Horror. If Lionel ever got married, never ask him if you can be the Maid of Honor or a Bride's Maid. What she was doing was absolute suicide. It was then she decided that she would never get married, even if she were completely, head over heels. Never means never, as in never-not-ever. The wedding was the most boring thing she had ever been to in her entire life. It was just a bunch of a priest talking, her sister and Drake nodding, saying I do, and then making out in public. Total yawn!

Afterwards, she was sitting with Lionel when she doubled over in pain, that kind of thing had been happening lately, and she was one hundred percent sure why. Which was basically, she was due any day now.

"I have to get you to the hospital again?" he groaned, and she shot him a glare and he put his arm around her, and they both apparated to St. Mungo's. The rest was a blur, but she did remember pain, and lots of it. After that, she basically blacked out. When she woke up, Lionel was sleeping in the chair next to her bed, and quite awkwardly really.

"Leo!" she said and he quickly straightened up, and blinked a few times. "My baby, where's my baby?" he sighed and walked outside to find a Healer. He came back in with one, who was carrying a small baby and handed it to Charli.

It was obviously a girl, and that girl had fuzz on her head that was black, and hopefully hair, and her eyes a beautiful brown.

"What are you going to name her?" Lionel asked.

"Valkyrie Elizabeth Leliam." She said, quoting her thoughts from her four-poster Hogwarts bed. She started to hum softly, rocking her child.

**Two Years Later**

**(As from this point on I'm writing this in first person!)**

"Happy birthday, babes!" I said, gently shaking my now two-year-old daughter awake. It was August 14th, Val's second birthday. My life has improved since she came along, since I now have someone who actually cares. When I have to leave her with her uncle, I come to pick her up and her eyes light up like the sun when she sees me. She is my greatest treasure.

"Mummy!" she squealed, and sat up in bed giving me a death hug.

"Whoa, gotta breathe Val!" I said and she broke out in a fit of giggles. Today she was having a bunch of her muggle friends over, and I could not be there... I had plans. It had always been a tradition with my mother to sing happy birthday to in Swedish, being the Swede she was, as well as give me a small present in the morning. I had carried on this tradition with Val. Being a mother was amazing, it could be hard at times but at others it was heaven. After I sang, I handed her a beautifully carved wooden box. She let out another squeal and opened it up. Inside was a silver bracelet that had loads of charms on it.

"It used to be mine... but I want to make sure you got it." I told her very seriously and she nodded, and I had to put it on for her. I could tell she was getting sleepy again, so and I let her sleep and walked downstairs to the kitchen, when I heard a crash coming from the living room. As I guessed, Leo has flooed over.

"Hey, I need you to watch Val. gotta jet."

(A/N: Did I just quote Jimmy Neutron? Mithros save my soul!)

I glanced down at my watch and shifted nervously on my feet. Where was Avery? He had better get his good-looking ass over here or else! At that moment, she heard someone come up behind her and she spun around.

"Where have you been, Avery?" I hissed and he just gave me one of his famous smirks. I could not possibly see how I could have let him kiss me and put his tongue in my mouth when I was thirteen! Talk about young and stupid. "God, let's just get a move on."

We apparated to a small house right outside of Fullham, in West London, and we sneaked around to the back of the house. I knew whose house this was, it was the house of Fredrick and Riley Harnes, or as she used to be known: Riley Potter. I knew I should have felt terrible, knowing what I was about to do but strangely I did not. In fact, I felt quite and very numb, void of all feeling. I was about to murder one of the people who had helped me become independent during my Hogwarts years. I carefully unlocked the patio door and we stealthy moved inside and I proceeded to the kitchen, whereas Avery went upstairs. If I knew Riles at all, which I did, she would be in the kitchen at this time of night. I burst into the kitchen and much _not _to my surprise was Riley Harnes, pigging out on junk food as usual. Her usually tan face paled visibly when she saw me, donned in my death eater attire.

"Time to pay up, Riles." I sneered and pulled out my wand, pointing it directly at her. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" A get of green light shot out of my wand and enveloped my vision temporarily, and when it faded I saw the body of Riley Harnes lying dead, cold, and lifeless on her kitchen floor. I heard the same curse I had just screamed come from upstairs, and heard a very distinct thunk of a body hitting carpet. Footsteps pound down the stairs and I met Avery at the bottom. Outside each of us, in unison, performed the spell to create the dark mark in the air.

The next morning, I woke up groggily and turned over in my bed. The stupid owl with the Daily Prophet flew in and I paid her and opened it up.

**DEATH IN FULLHAM**

_**Annileese Woodsen (Daily Prophet Reporter) **_

_Another You-Know-Who related killing has happened again. Fredrick and Riley Harnes (Potter) were found dead in their house in West Fullham outside of London this morning by Riley's brother, James Potter. It is determined that the Harnes's were murdered around midnight last night by the killing curse. Fredrick was found in the couple's bedroom, whereas Mrs. Harnes was found lying on the kitchen floor, with her head bleeding. Kathrine Bonalan of the Department of Auror Investigations in the Murder Division says that Mrs. Harnes received the injury when her skull came in contact with the tile. It is suspected that it was a woman, for a lock of brown-dyed-black strand of hair was found stuck in the patio door. _

_A memorial service will be held for the Harnes's this Sunday, at noon. It will take place at Killingworth Family Funeral Home._

I gasped when I read that they found a strand of my hair. _Shit!_ I thought, knowing they would perform a DNA spell, and I would be found out. How could I have been so incapably stupid? My next thought after that was Val, I had to leave her something... a letter... anything. I grabbed a piece of parchment on the refrigerator and a quill, quickly scribbling down words that would let my daughter know how utterly sorry I was that I would never get to see my little girl grow up. Wrapped up in the letter I included the necklace that Sirius had given me, that Christmas that seemed so long ago. I knew that an auror would be after me in a matter of hours to take me to Azkaban. I knew that I would not get a trial, because there was no Sixth Amendment Right in England, or the English Ministry. I ran up the steps of my home and told Val that she was going to be with Uncle Leo for a while, but on my way to the fire place to floo her there, I heard a knock at my door. _Fuck!_ I thought and went over to the door, and opened it. I knew I must have been a mess, with Val's bag on my shoulder, her balanced on my hip, my hair completely dishelved, and my eyes still half closed sleepily. And no one other but James-fucking-Potter stood at my door, with a whole load of people behind him that I assumed were aurors also.

"Charli Deana Leliam, you are under arrest by the English Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, for the two counts of murder, and being a servant to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." He said, and when I blinked at him, the aurors behind him drew their wands.

"I'm coming, I'm fucking coming!" I said while putting Val down and silently praying for my brother to show his ass at this moment. He did thankfully, and when he saw the hoards of people at my door he scooped up his niece and my daughter, and was out of there like _that!_

"Before you take me to Azzie, just to let you know, Avery helped! And I demand a trial." I informed them all as I walked towards James. "You copy that Houston?"

My trial whizzed past me, and I was now convicted of committing four crimes instead of three. On top of murdering Riley and Fredrick Harnes, and being a death eater, I had now used the Imperius curse on Blade Avery, forcing him to murder Fred. I was sentenced to spend the rest of my life in Azkaban.

Azkaban was a horrible place; it was worse then death itself. Each day was worse then sleep... I wished I would die. I tried banging my head against the concrete but the Dementors wouldn't let me. They wanted everything I had, every pleasant thought and memory.

_Which brings me to the present._


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstances, own James, Lily, Sirius, Voldemort. And anything from the amazing world of Happy Potter and JK Rowling give or take a few things or people!

**Epilogue**

I am done... I realize this. My time on earth is going to end shortly. That letter I hope, will explain everything, from life death, from a to z. Lionel came to visit me once here, and I told him to let her grow up with Dumbledore. Maybe, having him as an adoptive father along with my brother, she would not claim the same mistakes, mine, and make them hers. I have not prayed in a very long time, but I do believe that I should. At that moment, I send out a mental message to every God/Goddess/Immortal Being that I have ever heard of, sending them my silent plea. I feel wet, salty, tears run down my face as I lift it towards the heavens.

_Please... whoever is up there, do not let my daughter make the same decisions that I have made. Let her be true, let her be good as I once was. And never let her become friends with a Potter... keep her safe. Please._

I decide to go over to Sirius, and lay beside him, snuggling up against him. There is no shame dying like this, in the arms of which the one to my heart belongs. In my death, I will always be there for him and my daughter. I will be a ghost, but they will not know I am there. Subconsciously, in his sleep, his arms snake around my waist, pulling my up against him. It almost makes me want to regret what I was about to do, but not quite. Happiness and Azkaban are never used in the same sentence of thought, speech, or anything. As I lay there, I take my shard and cut deep, gashing slashes across both my right and left wrists. I feel sleepy, and close my eyes. Sirius's face is the last thing I see... and then I am floating... floating away from everything...

**THE END**


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